A few things have taken place lately. I let go of the W blaming me for her having to deal with the kids being upset with her for not taking them where they wanted to go.
I had to email W with a few details about support payments to her and needed a few things. I had also given times when i would be able to let her have the kids on thanksgiving in exchange for a few extra hours on one of her days to cut down a xmas tree. We emailed back and forth and she was prompt in responding and asking about when she is getting the share form the retirement plan. I informed her on everything . She had exclamation points placed through her emails, acting like she is all happy go lucky and sounding super positive. I found this funny. So after her last email asking about her money i replied that by the way our camper payment is due and the insurance as well. how would you like to handle? Background, we own a camper that we keep at her fathers campground. We agreed to keep it in sep agreement and split the payments. Well ever since i stopped her just asking me for things and turned it around, there has been no contact since! I found this funny.
She has had the kids since Sunday afternoon and they had swim lessons last night. She teaches and can not take them so I have her drop them to me and feed them then get them there. Her class ends an hour and a half before the lessons are over. the first time she called and told me she was going to the gym . Last night she did not even call, she just showed up when the class was over. This will not happen again. Even though i want to be there for the class, she is just using me. Next time I will have something to do. Even if i just leave for 20-30 minutes and come back i will not be used like this so she can just do what she wants.
So the kids were supposed to spend one last night with her last night before coming back with me today. Both were telling me they just want to sleep at my house tonight. I have stated that now D7 is saying this more now as she did not in the beginning. I had a few talks with them on how i can not just make these decisions and it has to be with W as well. I told D7 she needs to let W now how she feels as the two of them are the important ones in this whole thing. She is very reluctant. I am trying to make sure she understands not to bottle these things up and she needs to make sure she is heard. I am seriously considering finding a counselor for them to speak with. i do not want any future damage done.
So as W was trying to get them into car, S4 melted down worse than ever. This is very hard on me, but W told me i get too emotional when he does and it makes it worse. So i stayed strong and kept trying to get him to go. He was not having it. He actually started yelling at her and when she tried to carry him to truck he started kind of hitting. After about 20 minutes of this and after I asked once if she wanted him to just let him stay with me and her saying no, I looked at her and said, I will switch another night with you but i am not going to keep doing this to him, let him come with me tonight. I looked at her in the eyes when i said this. I could see some tears in her eyes. She finally agreed.
I do feel really bad for her about this, but i also dont. I know she had thought all along that this will just pass and they will be fine. I dont think she realizes yet that it will actually get worse.
So, thanksgiving will be at my house. Was going to be at my mothers but D7 really wanted it at our house. We always did this in the past. I think it makes her feel good so i made arrangements. Kids will have some cousins there and should be a good time. Will be strange, but i do have a lot to be thankful for. Going to fake it til i make it!
Everyone, try to put the bad behind for a day and focus on what you have!
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
