Pho's thread- things that I have learned

[Dawgs]

Damn Pho, I am not sure I could recover from a statement like that. But my W said something close to that early after BD - treated me like total shite...but you know something? I still want her. How silly is that?

I looked up narcissistic personality and decided to paste the definition:

"Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. You may be generally unhappy and disappointed when you're not given the special favors or admiration you believe you deserve. Others may not enjoy being around you, and you may find your relationships unfulfilling."

Pho, so much of that describes my SIL. That first paragraph so fits her to a T. She can't handle criticism and goes off the deep end at what she perceives to be even the smallest slight. More problems in the areas listed than you can shake a stick at. Feels she deserves everything. And this is the person "living it up" after her D issues and constantly telling my W that the grass is greener. Ugh.

Little story to give a perfect example - on S6's first birthday, we drove all the way down to where the W's family lived. The SIL sort of "arranged" a bday party for him. My W asked me to extend the olive branch (we had been on the outs for several months - and I saw some of the NASTY messages she would send to the W about me...). So I did. I swallowed my pride for my W and said thank you for setting this up...you did a wonderful job. Know what she did? Looked me in the eye for a minute and turned around and walked away without saying a word. W just stood there apologizing for her. That was when I was done with her. I extended the olive branch and she just stomped on it. The W never wanted to see why our problems existed and how the SIL acted.

Also, my W went to see her and her family a couple of months ago and to go to a concert the SIL wanted her to go to (the grass is greener...). During the concert the W texted me a few times and then I got one of the nastiest texts from the SIL telling me not to "bother" my W and that she was having a good time. WTF.

And this person is coming up for Thanksgiving.