She wants me to Leave 3rd Time .....EA Confirmed!

[isittoolate]

From Wonka I think

Thank you for articulating the main point for LBHs whose WAW is in an A: stop being such a wet noodle and grab the bull by the horns from the get-go. It starts with dropping the rabid FEAR in you. Your WAW is a paper tigeress. 

In summary, the action list should be something like this upon arriving at the DB forum in short order:

1-Keep DB to yourself and hide the DR book. You don't give away the playbook to the opponent. ERASE all browsing history on your computer.
2-LOSE YOUR FEAR of WAW. Reclaim your balls back from her purse.
3-Pull out the "not willing to live in an open M/no-OM boundary" script. 
4-Stop sharing the same MBR with your WAW. You are not willing to share her with another man. Tell WAW that "you have decided that you prefer she sleep in another room."
5-Sex? Forget it. It all stops right now. Same as above.
6-DO NOT have convos with WAW about the OM. You are not her gay boyfriend. You are her H. Do not acknowledge or speak about the OM at all.
7- Move all of your FINANCIAL assets into a new banking account with just your name on it (no more joint $$ with WAW) and cancel joint credit cards. Be sure to inform bank officers that your WAW is not to get a loan or open a card with your name ...they must call you first to alert of this.
8-Cut off all joint cell phone plans (you are not financing W's affair by paying for her smartphone to continue conducting her A on the family's money)
9-Only pay expenses related to children (if you have any) and other praticalities
10-Consult with a Lawyer to know your rights. Go in for an informational meeting with 3 to 4 attorneys. Keep it to yourself. Knowledge is power. 
11-Cancel all MC sessions. It is ineffective as long as your WAW is in an A and just going there for appearance's sake to claim that "they tried." Pshaw!
12-Don't drive or pick her up from the airport. She can figure this out herself. 
12-Make your own GAL plans. Don't drop them if WAW cries to you that she needs you to "babysit" the kids or threatens you.
13-Stop going into an overdrive cleaning the house or doing the laundry. Makes you look like the gay housekeeper from La Cage aux Folles movie


The above is advocated as necessary with a WW asap.

But everyone is telling me to slow down and wait a bit and see if she is having a PA and get all the evidence etc.

I don't need more evidence - she is having an EA and its unacceptable. It's at least an inappropriate friendship and at worst a EA/PA

Here is a transcript:

OM: I have a new Facebook friend!!!! Xx
W: I take you mean (my name)?
OM: soooooo funny
OM: you make me ever so happy (W name)
OM: you are a very funny and beautiful lady and I love you loads!
W: Coolio! That's very cheering! Anyway it's good that (my name) is your friend. How could he resist the (OM name) charm?!
OM: I have a long term plan. My new found friendship with (my name) takes the pressure off (W name). (My name) will love all the bigging up of him I do.
W: he needs a bit of confidence building!

As you can see OM is mocking me and W is complicit.
OM is leading the conversation. W is a lot cooler but her jibe about me needing a confidence boost shows her lack of respect for me.

NB this happened after I let them continue to be 'friends' if W was open about there phonecalls etc. and after I had let OM visit our house to fix a tap, so I could meet him.

See how this is so humiliating for me!


I feel a letter like the one below is necessary.

Dear WW

I want to be clear on some things. One is that I do not want a divorce, but will not stand in your way should you choose to continue on this path. Two, I am not willing live in an open marriage with a third party. 

We will not be friends should you decide to proceed with a D.

Your choice is incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage and our sons, OM partner and daughter

We will co-parent our children, and I will of course be civil and courteous, but this isn't how 'friends' treat each other. 

Going forward starting now, as long as you are involved in an affair with the OM, our communication only be focused on the logistics of the children's schedules, their issues, and exchanges. 

We have some decisions to make here. When you’re ready, please let me know your thoughts.

Sincerely,