Ghost Working on getting Stronger and Fitter

[ATPeace]

Ok so a much calmer day

I have been spinning for a few weeks it seems after each time I am spinning I get a little loser to gaining the strength to drop the rope and let go of what is happening.

It is my fear of what will happen that is hurting the most not the actual

So I fear my W not being there but for 5 nights a week she is out working nights and she has already left me so my fear of being in my own house may be worse than actually being alone in my own house

Today I had the thought that the day before the bomb my W would txt me saying love you and she would msg me during the day asking how my day was ...since bomb day she wil not ask how my day is going like a switch has been clicked

I suppose I should not ask for anything it is just so sad how a marriage of 17 years can go this way