Pho, I am rolling at your description of your son's "company." Needed that laugh today!
Competent role models are very hard to find. I do hope that your H steps up to the plate in that department. While there are others who can, but not in kids' eyes...
Quote:
he would not get our D, they do not want anything to do with each other)
If you don't mind me asking, why is this? How old is she compared to ya'lls sons? I just find that troubling for some reason. Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable with that. Just wondered why. And you may be right, the upcoming TAD may be a blessing. I certainly hope so.
Spiff, if you saw my S in action you'd really laugh. He will come home every day with updates "X quit, I have to hire a new marketing manager, I need to have A and B over today to work out some programming issues. " And this is all made up! He does have a web page but that is it! I think they are supposed to be making video games or movies, it keeps changing. At one point he had 25 employees, kids were showing up at my door to apply for positions, or discuss "business." It is really funny.
About my d. She is 14. This is a complicated situation. She has always been a tough kid, always hard on H. She has ocd and sensory issues, his face, his voice, his mannerisms set her off. She rages at him, and is really really nasty. She does this to me too, but 100% to him. She hit rock bottom last year, around this time, that is when H hit rock bottom too. He said he was moving out because of her. She was becoming physically abusive. He couldn't take it. In Jan/Feb of last year they were both threatening suicide, both completely went over the edge at the same time. (This was when H called his parents for help and they told him it was all my fault, and he decided to believe them. Downhill from there.) Anyway, D is doing much much better now, last spring she was in a hospitalization program for 3 months, they helped her so much, she is back in school, she is functioning, she is sleeping (she had major sleeping issues her whole life) she is eating, no more self mutilation, no more screaming fits (although that started a little this week), she had been passing out and having trouble with her heart rate, all of that is controlled now. Except she is still really angry all the time with H and he with her. They both have a similar personality in that they both LOVE to argue and have to be right at all times. He views it as a discipline issue, I view it as both a discipline and a health issue. Her will is so strong, I don't really know what to do with her, and tbh I am a little alarmed at being alone with her while H is away. It is exhausting keeping up with her, so many appointments and also she is so smart and constantly argues and negotiates every thing.
Pre-BD H kept saying he was leaving because he couldn't live with D, but then when he talked to his parents, he said "They have opened my eyes, it is not her that is the problem, it is 100% you, you have caused this in her. " And of course his gf agreed.
I told you it was complicated! I am 100% sure that her issues are what caused him to break down. Complete rejection by his own daughter coupled with her escalating and then some outside influence that encouraged him to just blame me.
