Lost Hope (5)

[JulieH]

Thanks painter. A while ago Lawyer had said no worries when it came to child support or custody since he left and I have always been primary care giver. I was a little confused when petition in mail wanted to know my savings and said that court makes ultimate decision regarding percent. Did not think I would get much alimony which I am not expecting. Also said he will have to pay majority of legal fees.

I still fear that he will make a big custody battle. He said if he has to pay full percentage he is going to want more visitation. I told him I want him to have more visitation , but really I worry he will fight for 50/50. He has also made comments fht he doesn't want my son living in my families house. That environment is not healthy??? We are messy and do not have fashionable furniture decor but still. Basically he keeps saying that through mediation we will be able to compromise but through courts he will get nasty. That's how I took it anyway. When I call him on it he says I misinterpret him and read into things that are not there, and that I always did this.

(I always read into his comments in past as well, which caused a lot of fights. I even sometimes think he is on spectrum but I know everyone makes crazy diagnosis )

I don't even know why I want reconciliation. Is it just the ego thing. I don't want to be rejected? My boys and I have an even better relationship now then before! So what do I even gain with him? He was so difficult to deal with and I was always complaining. I couldn't handle a lot of his flaws in the relationship and was always complaining.