Pho's thread- things that I have learned

[Dawgs]

Hi, Pho! Hang in there, we are all here for you! I am going to say this and it may sound funny, but I am envious of your position. From what you have been telling, it seems that progress is being made. I would give anything for that. Anything.

Detachment is so hard. I feel like I just can't shake this heartbreak. I will be out doing something fun, playing with the kids, etc, and it is just there like a cloud over my head.

I am right there with you. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I set myself up so many times for false hope when what I thought I saw was a light but was actually a train. That cloud has completely enveloped my head.

I have been so strong, but there is only so much a person can take. Is it my imagination or is it about the 1 year mark where the LBS kind of starts to really move forward? I don't know if I noticed that trend or if I made it up, but that's what I've been telling myself.

You have been very strong, and I also envy you about that. There is only so much a person can take. I think the question is, what is our breaking point? I think on that quite often - about how when my W does her crazy stuff or goes off or completely stomps on my heart, that I am just ready to hang it up. Sometimes I am on the brink but a question always pulls me back - what if she really is trying and I throw it all away? What if this is nothing more than her projecting and I am completely misreading (done that many many times) her? One of the things that scares me the most is relevant to those questions - given my W's past and how it has shaped her, what if she really wants to try but doesn't know how and is looking for a candle to also guide her? I think this may be partially correct given some of the things she has said. All that is why I just don't say **ck it and lets be done...whenever I am ready to cross that line, those always pull be me back into my own little corner of h*ll.

We are here for you, Pho. You have been more of an inspiration than you will ever know.