less confused newbie 8

[Dawgs]

Oh man DDay, I hate it for you. We are here for you, brother!

After meeting with L, my IC/priest wants to meet. I think it will be helpful. I really hate that I have to meet with L. This [censored]. This is the hardest time of my life. By far, and I have been through difficult times before. I am ready for it to be over. I hate that the boys are going through this.

I am not at the L point yet and am really dreading what I feel is coming. At least you know and are able to move forward. I know its the hardest time in your life and I can't imagine being where you are. I haven't done anything this hard before, ever, and I am not where you are. I am hurting for you and especially for your children. Be there for them. Play with them get silly and do what they want, even if it is 50 times in a row. Be their rock. They will remember all of that.

I think I have dropped the rope. There is nothing I can do. I know that, have just struggled to accept it. Now, to go as dark as possible and not be an ass. W comment of not respecting me, true or not, made me realize that she still isn't the girl I married. May never be again. And, the timing of everything worked out very well for her. As soon as my bonus check arrived, and the day after I finished remodeling she asked me to move out. She filed for D just before her own bonus check arrived. I paid for everything while I lived with my sister. W said it would just be a week or 2... and here we are. It appears now that she planned it this way, maybe not and I am just reading things into it. I would love nothing more than to have my old W back. She isn't here right now. Maybe she will be some day.

They never are the ones we married. My W definitely isn't. And they never will be - sure, there may be some semblance of what they once were, but we also have to remember that they grew, too. Might not have been in a good direction, but they grew nonetheless. Funny about the planning thing - I strongly believe that they do that. From what you said, it definitely appears that she has been planning that all along. Mine, too. Had all that shite planned out down to the last T. And the sad thing? They lied to our face while planning their "escape." Sorry for venting...

Anyway, this person that has filed for D is believing someone she calls a "pot stirrer" over what I have told her. She is looking for justification everywhere. Always the victim now. Sees nothing good from our time together other than our boys. Rewritten history. If this is the new W, like permanent, then I don't want to be in a R with her. It's sad, but I came to that realization last night. 10 months after BD.

I have come to believe that in situations where divorce isn't justified, there is always a pot stirrer. My W is so easily persuaded, and the SIL is a big time pot stirrer - heck, she is also going through a divorce. The grass is greener, eh? The most telling line in all that was a message I saw that said "I never knew I was so sad." Think about that for a minute.

I hate it that they rewrite history. They always seem to do it to justify their actions. My W, who was one of the most kind heated woman there is, completely rewrote our history. It's like we never had any good times.

Unfortunately, you two will always be connected. Always. Make the best of it. You can do this. All about your kids!