My H doesn't give a stuff about the huge effort I've made over the past 2 and a half years especially. I've made an effort to communicate more, be more open, be more attentive, be more available for him...and it was still never enough. Well, now I know that it was because he was constantly thinking about OW.
So now I'm thinking all the changes I made, and all the things I've been learning, are for me.
About the desire for attention thing...my H's life has also become extremely adrenaline fuelled over the past 4 odd years. It started with his work - he's become incredibly successful in these past 4 years.
I'm sure that part of it has been an incredible attraction to all that success and everything that goes with it (adrenaline, attention).
And then an inability to deal with the stresses of that success (how to handle the adrenaline and attention).
Instead of focussing on toning things down and dialling things back to try and keep some kind connection with himself, he's wanted more and more of everything. So he's thrown a lot of alcohol into the mix, and some drugs too.
And it's ended up spiralling out of control (talking about the past 3 and a half years now in terms of timescale).
