What are you thinking about specifically when you say you will go a little darker? Do you mean less pursuit, giving her space? What specifically will you be saying or doing or NOT be saying or doing?
Yeah, less pursuit. Stepping back out of the chaos to slow down, take care of myself, process my feelings, take stock of the situation and gain clarity on what my own needs are so that I can assess the best way forward.
Right now I feel like I'm taking back some of the space that she occupied in my psyche. Filling the empty hole in my heart that she vacated with my own self-love, if that makes sense. It's the kind of thing that I should do for myself for the sake of myself, regardless of whether or now we can save the M.
I will still care for her and share stories of what we are going through, for now. Our ability to talk about things openly has be a source of meaning for us in the chaos and seems to speed up the processing that we need to go through individually. I just have to be vigilant about keeping a hold on than needy part of me that wants so badly to reach out and grab onto her for support and comfort.
That's a really good plan. I believe that it will get you where you want to be. Controlling what you allow to occupy your mind is major.
Best- sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
