At the very least I know there is no "letter" out there in her hands that says "My insanely jealous wife is making me break up with you, and you know that isn't what I want, but I have to do it because of my kids, maybe some day.....etc etc." Does that make any sense?
Maybe I am not being clear in my point. The WS doesn't get to say things such as, "My insanely jealous wife is making me break up with you". The letter is suppose to be the beginning of the transparency plan, with the LBS instructing and preapproving it before it is sent. Who cares that the AP is thinking the hands of the WS has touched it, or that they'll keep the letter forever? It is not about what the AP does, feels, or thinks. It is about what the WS says in the NC letter.
The entire purpose to begin the process of withdrawal, by ending the A cold turkey (which means no further conversations. If the WS carries on a verbal conversation, there's a good chance there'll be another one to follow. Reading between the lines is not as harmful, IMO, as hearing doubt in the weak voice of the WS as they speak to their AP.
If a phone call is made anyway, the LBS needs to tell the WS what to say to the AP, and to stand next to him/her as they speak to the AP. It is to be witnessed, and the WS will not include everything if the LBS is not there to ensure it.
I'm glad you feel better with your H calling.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
