I did think up one more suggestion. Make a plan early. Make decisions ahead of time and not in the heat of the moment when the emotions get going. Update it if necessary when things are calm, but otherwise use it.
I stuck to the plan during spew but it did get at me too. .
I ended is a good place overall.
Me: 45 W43 S7, Foster S9 (Planning to adopt post divorce) D mentioned Feb 2015, Wife served 3/24/2015. She moved out 4/15/2015.