Pinn I hear ya man. I would have done the same thing in if it was mentioned to inform person who has product, they should probably know.
Few interactions are better than none! But yes, baby steps, no pressure, and stepping back again is good with no expectations or reading into interactions.
As they say around here.... hope you've got good running shoes as this marathon can be long.
M: 33 W: 30 T: 14 M: 9 S2 BD: May/2015 (w moves into spare bedroom one week later) EA / PA (discovered): June/2015 W moves out (living with OM): Sep/2015
You know whats funny Enigma... I just ran a half marathon and before I did that, I thought I could do a full marathon, no problem, after the half... I know that I could not at the moment (at least not at the pace I want to). I don't know if I can finish the marathon you mention.
So it has been just about 4 months since she moved out (rather quickly I might add). There has been no positive vibe over that time. I cannot even make a stretch and say I am seeing positives. Just nothing, in 4 months. I read a lot of threads on here and it seems like most get some kind of sign at least one way or another. Some type of interaction. I have barely had any and certainly nothing with any meaning. Is there OM?? I don't know... probably. It would tie everything together nicely. Oddly enough I never think of that.
So what is she doing? Why not just end it? There is no cake eating here, she doesn't like the cake anyway. There is no benefit for her to stay married to me. She has complete independence from me. I could make up positive reasons why she has not brought it up but it is more likely that she just wants me to pull the trigger first so she doesn't look like the bad guy. Or since there is really no difference between being divorced or not given our current state, she just would rather avoid the conversation (I know it is mind reading, but still hard not to think about)? I don't know.
I know, I know... GAL, detach.... I do a fairly good job here. But I can't keep things out of my head constantly. I need to focus on the plan.... wait until the new year and re-evaluate. Darn holidays. At least I had a killer work out tonight.
feeling down today... not sure if it is the upcoming holidays or what but definitely in a funk. My brain is becoming the problem. My thoughts are filled with figuring out when is it time to give up. Still have minimal contact with my wife. I am getting more and more impatient and that is a terrible place to make decisions from. The worst part is, that I have a plan, but I am not following it. I need to reset.
The plan has always been wait until the new year and then re-evaluate. I am evaluating every single day. Work is slow at the moment which makes things worse. I need to stop this and follow the plan. Remove it from my mind.... it makes no difference at the moment what the official status of us is.
I need to unfollow her friends and family on FB. I had blocked her a while ago (trust me, this had to be done). But I am still seeing too many references to her on there.
That rubber band has to go back on. When I start debating if it is time to end this, I need to use that band and think of something else, anything else.
If I cannot move my mind away from this, then I need to text someone to force my mind off the topic.
I find this mainly occurring at work or during the commute. When I am at home, things are much better.
I need to stop my mind from wandering.... it is not good.
Sooo there is one little interesting thing that happened today that I'd like to vent about....
Going back to the beginning, for those of you who have not followed my story closely, on the day of the BD, I of course suspected there was someone else. Her story was just too inconsistent but OM would have tied all the loose strings up. I of course asked, she of course denied. I did not buy it, but that is the only time I have asked.
So in the few weeks post BD... I start thinking... who is it... I know I can figure this out. I rule out people, but one person comes to mind, the brother of a kid she went to high school with. The reason was because a few weeks before BD, this guy calls her, I notice the call and the name, she quickly ignores the call and goes on to explain who he is. This is extremely odd behavior from my wife, she will talk to anyone in front of me on the phone.... so what was different here?
So I briefly look into this guy a bit. He is a few years younger than her, no college, not very attractive looking, lives with his mom .5 miles from our house and.....wait for it..... had just gotten out of jail. He has been in jail a few times. So I thought about it... I still thought there is probably OM, but I don't think this is the guy. She could get pretty much any guys she wants. So I really didn't think about it much anymore.
Then tonight. My niece posted some pictures of a new puppy that my wife has on FB a while back... so I had seen those. I am heading to the store and not really paying attention. I drive by about where that guy lives, but I was not focused on it. I see a short woman, with long brown hair walking a dog. I was like man did she look like my wife. But I wasn't sure which house the woman was at because I was not paying attention and it was dark. And I mean she couldn't possibly be that blatant half a mile from my house. So again, just filed it away.
So I go on FB a while later on my phone, and front and center is the 'people you may know' and guess who is the first one, that guy that I thought might be OM. I'm like, let's see what is going on with this dude. So I go to his page, and guess who has pics of a new puppy? This guy, very similar to the pic my niece posted of my wifes new puppy, but I am not 100% sure if they are the same. I think it is too big of a coincidence. If they are not the same puppy, the are so incredibly close its not funny.
If this is true, then it is probably best case scenario. What a disaster brewing for her. I want to call her out on it right now, or text her best friend and be like whats the deal... but I won't. I won't do anything for now. This really might be the end... I don't know if I can ever trust this woman unfortunately.
Any thoughts? At the very least it shows a direct link between my wife and the guy I immediately thought of after BD. What is best to do? Since we are already separated, just stay quiet? Not hard since we don't talk anyway.
What is best to do? Since we are already separated, just stay quiet?
What exactly is there to say?
Frick.... There is nothing to say. I would say nice puppy... She'd say I was watching it for a friend... I'd say a friend like xxx... She'd say yes like I said I was watching it for a friend.
