Spiff, you are exactly right. Didn't sign up to be buddies. It's all or nothing for me on that now. I did the friend thing while thinking that we were working on us. I was wrong, I had even helped her coach the basketball kids while she was talking to another mom, and then stuck around and helped the rest of practice. Then we sat together during the next game and she told me about the papers right after the game.
So, she is more than happy to keep me as a backup plan.
I can't detach, and move forward, if I am with her like that. I also can't show her what she's missing if I'm there for her. I still want us together, it's up to her. But, either way it turns out, I have to detach and keep moving forward.
Tl2, I did have to hide in the bathroom a bit yesterday while I was tearing up. I am trying to not let it show, can't stop ot completely. I will try harder. S6 response to all this was "let me talk to mommy, and I would rather be sick than have us split up". He's a great kid, and I told them this was not their fault. We still love them.
W and I hanging out together was giving the boys false hope as much as it was me. I was afraid of that, but didn't want to rock the boat. Well, it's capsized now.
I meet a L tomorrow. Yuck
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....