Vapo, you are so right, they look for any possible reason to justify themselves and also to make sure they do not carry any weight on themselves. I have another example i will get into in a bit.
Updating Kids were back with me Friday morning as W has to teach and she drops them to me in the morning and i get them to school. After dropping S4 to school i decided to go to the docotrs office. Been battling what i thought was a cold and it had gone on for too long. Apparently it was a sinus infection. Got some meds and feel tons better.
Picked up S4 from school and back to work. Headed home to get D7 off the bus. they were both so happy to be there. D7 ended up playong with friends most of afternoon and then wanted to sleep over. I finally agreed even though i wanted to spend time with her i knw she doesnt get to see her friends as much now either. S4 was very pleased with this as he got Dad all to himself!
Got up Saturday and did some cleaning around the house. Had some errands to run so loaded kids up and went out. we ate some lunch and took care of some things. In the evening we headed out for a xmas parade and tree lighting near us. Kids were a little antsy as we had to get there early to get a spot but we made it. Got a few good pictures at the tree with the three of us. D7 did make a comment looking around talking everybody was all there with their families and it was just us. That hurt. I did send W a picture of the kids at the tree. she thanked me for sending. She called after we were on our way home. She was very short on the phone with them as she was on her way out. D7 made a comment about it afterwards.
Sunday mornings are rough as i know i have to do the switch. This time both of them were saying they dont want to go. Normally it is just S. I tried to avoid the meltdown and told them maybe W could take them to do something fun. Man this backfired. After the switch i got a TM from W. Please do not tell the kids i will take them somewhere without speaking to me first. I am sure the kids were all ramped up to do something and she probably had other things to do and either couldnt or wouldnt. I know how those tow kids get in these times so i am sure she was ticked off. So guess what take it out on me! I tried to explain to her in a text that I was trying to avoid a meltdown and get the kids excited to go with her, which i did. But i also did tell her i told them she may have things to do and not be able to take them somewhere. I validated her frustration and assured her i would never do that. She did not respond. I did not apologize because i feel it was not wrong, i never made any promise nor say she would do something i merely tried to change their attitudes about going. I could try to find better methods, but all i could come up with at the time.
On that note, the kids are both becoming vocal in front of her about wanting to stay with me more. I am trying not to tell them that i will always let them be with me because it just turns out to be a broken promise. it is on W at this point.
So today i am still in my head a little about how W is still putting me to blame for everything wrong in her life. If the kids are a handful and not happy about getting their way it is my fault. I know it is not my problem right now. I am just really trying to pay attention to the children right now. I am seeing some changes in them and need to be very careful to make sure they are not getting too affected. Problem is I cant communicate with W too much on this as she thinks I am overreacting and causing them to be this way.
Ahh the life of dealing with WW. I wonder if she thinks the same things about me!
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
