Ok GB. That is what we did at Thanksgiving. I hosted his family without him. Kids did not want to see him. But did want to see their cousins and grandparents. It was nice. H of course told people that he opted out of coming because it would be too awkward - he wasn't invited- but he didn't tell anyone that! Just don't know how to do the gift exchange - the cousins pick names and exchange gifts in morning when we all go to IL s house - drop them off earlier in the week?
Invite the cousins and everyone (including in-laws) to stop by your house for dessert in the afternoon or evening followed by a gift exchange - this saves you and your kids the anxiety of worrying about WH stopping by or disrupting "your time" at the in-laws house. Or - make your own Christmas eve event.
As sad as it sounds - maybe just this year let the kids go on their own and exchange gifts with their cousins and give their father the silent treatment all on their own (it can't be your fault if you aren't there). Whether you go next year is a bridge you cross later. Your kids and maybe a few cousins AND anyone in your family that can make it should come to your house Christmas day after that - and you can spend the day preparing some fantastic desserts of visiting YOUR family. Then...maybe invite your inlaws (and family) over Sat. the 26th or for New Years Eve.
I get the feeling your family might be far away - I would be really great if someone kicked in the money to fly you (and as many of the kids as they can) to them. Nothing better for WH than to learn his entire family is just gone for the holidays. Y'all can turn off your phones all day too....conveniently make it a no-electronics day.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
