You said "I am really not too sure how to "work on me" having a full time job, 5 kids and a dog keeps me busy - sometimes this is good but other times I feel like my life is passing me by."
The first thing you need to do is stop thinking about him some of the time. When your at work, focus on work. When your with your children, lose yourself in them. Your dog is a great distraction, learn from the dog. Dogs always stay in the present moment. The past is just a thought, dwelling there changes nothing. The future is just a thought, it is okay to prepare for the future but it is still just a thought. There is only now. Train your mind to stay present moment.
You said "The kids and I are going to go to a movie tonight. Is that considered GALing??? Or do I have to do things on my own?"
Of course that is GAL activity. Start doing things with the kids. Go to a museum, nature walk, music event, theater, library, things like that. Go on a date with one of the kids and leave the rest at home. Later on you could get a babysitter and go out with a friend, have coffee, take a class, yoga, play bridge, something like that.
I know it's hard to detach I live it everyday. I love my wife and she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. I get where your coming from, I have 30 years of history with this woman. What my thinking has evolved to is this. I love her and want her to be happy. If the only way she can be happy is to be apart from me, so be it. I am not taking a hostage or holding a prisoner. I can still love her, I just will not be able to share my life with her. It's sad for me but it's not all about me.
