Thanks for all the support today. I feel so blessed to have a place where I can share and friends know me and the sitch AND understand what this is like.

-Job, not going backwards. Promise. Won't do that to the girls. Not an option. Came through too much to go backwards. Based upon past experience, he surfaces and goes under again.
-Ellie, this is some ride. Im glad you pushed me hard to get the legal stuff handled. This is so SO DIFFERENT knowing the money/retirement won't shift when the wind blows again. I'm not bringing up 12 steps right now. This is his gig now, not mine. I'm no longer his wife.
-Bright- thanks for being curious too!! Haven't asked. Three years ago, I wouldn't be able to resist the urge. Now... I have my own life and she doesn't really matter one way or the other... Just curious.
-Brook!!! Love you lady and miss you too. Promise, no easy way back into my heart... Not after the Hitler regime.

Sotto and Ha, Thanks for dropping by!!!! Things get easier. I promise. You will learn you have strength you never imagined.

Ha, I love how spot on you are with your man-boy. You both seem to have a handle on this and perspective which takes many of us years to develop.

Sotto, I admire how you have pushed through the stuff you don't want. This shows amazing strength to let go when you don't want to. When you want to hold onto a pant leg for dear life.

Matt gave us all the gift of a glimpse into the other side today. Appearances are deceiving. He signed D papers less than three months ago. Masked depression is cunning and don't imagine for a minute your spouse is happy. OW doesn't matter. She is a convenient and temporary solution to a permanent problem. Not someone of any significance.

What I learned from this episode:
He is alcoholic, but that didn't kill our marriage.
I have problems with money and other imperfections, but that didn't kill our marriage.
This man has a hole in his heart he has tried to fill and hasn't found the source of a problem which started long before we met...THAT KILLED OUR MARRIAGE.

He said it himself. I'm still hurting. I miss you guys every day. I ask God what He wants from me. What he still can't face honestly is the evil of his behavior.

This is almost four years since he left... Jan. 2012

BD: I was told I was a burden to him.
Today: he was worried he was bothering me. HE was a burden to me.
Four years almost to the day.

Last edited by LoisB; 11/23/15 04:19 AM.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson