[BrightFuture]

Job, FY, Heather, thanks for stopping by. I do feel better now. I still have that horrible cough, but at least I have more energy.

As for hearing the words of regret....it might not happen in the way that you would like it to be. Sometimes, it's just a word or a simple statement. They have a very difficult time of saying "I'm sorry, etc."

Job, I would be ok with a simple statement that there is a regret about what he is done and how he’s done it.

Heather, thanks for such a wonderful post. As I mentioned before, you are in inspiration. You amaze me with what you have done with your life, protecting your daughters, moving to a completely different place, getting the job that you wanted. I can go on and on.

I’ve been trying to think how I feel about my life in my house that used to be marital home. I don’t have the feelings of everything being dead. I don’t know. I have some moments when I want something new, but most of the time I feel pretty comfortable in my house and in my neighborhood. I’ve changed a lot. I discovered a lot about myself, I let go of some believes I had from my childhood, I let down some walls that I built over the years. It all still fits in my lifestyle I have right now. I don’t think I want to change it. Maybe to add a couple of things I always wanted to do, like volunteer work. I want to go back to dance lessons and learn something new. It is a matter of some motivation on my part, which I lost in the last few months. I just don’t have that much energy like other people have. Plus, I’ve been working two jobs and my main job has been pretty intense and exhausting.

As for the dreams… I’m kind of leaving my dream right now. As an immigrant who came to this country and pretty much had to start everything over, I’ve come a long way. I started my career anew when I moved here, at the age of 30. I had a brand new marriage and H who I thought was my soul mate and I felt lucky to have him in my life. I came with no money, with a suitcase of clothes, and my son, who needed to learn a new language, new environment, new rules, who had to accept a “new” dad, who left behind all the family he was used to. It was not easy…

With the exception of a soul mate (H), who bailed out on me, I pretty much achieved all I wanted in life. I have a job and career that I like, I have a house I can pay for, I have a son who turned into an amazing adult. I have family here now (my sister), and I love them. With a little bit of delay (that caused me a lot of grey hair by the way), my son is finishing the college and I have means to help him out paying for his classes and stuff, so he will not have any student debt when he is done. I have money for travel, if I want to. I have great friends. I am healthy.

The dreams I have right now… to have a partner to share my life with, to travel to the places I haven’t been to, and to the places I like. I want to retire when I’m 55 (not sure it this going to happen though, LOL.) I want to see my son to succeed in his life. I don’t know… maybe I’m not dreaming big enough…