It's weirdly comforting that everyone here knows all what of these feelings are, and how flipping difficult it all is too. I'm so glad I found this place.
I think I'm finding that too...the best days are ones in which I manage to keep myself very busy. And if there are other people around as well, then even better. So I'm planning a very busy December with various work-related projects. I'm actually really looking forward to it.
Today, it was a good few random acts of kindness from strangers that really touched me, and the beautiful, bright sunshine and blues skies we had.
Maybe I should write something that I'm grateful for at the end of every day? Or make a list of a few things I'm grateful for? So I'm steering my mind to always look for the positive and away from the 'poor me' mentality? I don't want to be a victim in all of this (or in anything in my life).
So sorry to hear you've been ill. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been (and still is maybe). I hope you got lots of support with that.
