Answer to: "why didn't you hear it from ME?"

[Flight]

I have asked her to see a mediator about telling our DD, gotten boxes to start packing my stuff, and told her I won't live in an in-house divorce where she gets to date. She is all over the show now. Saying, "fine, why wait, let's see your lawyer. I need to know because I need to start looking for an apartment" and when I say I will set it up, "Why can't you see the benefits to all of us if we keep the house? You only think of yourself!" After standing up for myself when she speaks to me in a tone I won't accept, she is avoiding me and we barely speak.Right now I think I will speak or text only if spoken to.

Part of dropping the rope is realizing however "wrong" we may want to make them, a cheater has a right to make their own choices, however hurtful we judge them to be. If they feel free to not have anyone telling them what to do, they may run or they may feel they can stay of their own accord. I just feel this is a dysfunctional situation and I can't live in it anymore.