Getting through the storm

[ep0215]

I am trying so hard to change my behaviors that got me in this predicament. They are for me and if in the end I get my H back then great. If I don't then I know in my heart I have done everything I could and some other man and I will live a long and happy life together.

I am not allowing him to bulldoze my emotions to get what he wants.

I am not responsible for his life anymore. I do not have to remind him daily of things he needs to do or where to be. I give him the information in an efficient and timely manner. It is up to him to follow through.

I am sending pictures and videos of S4 so that he has a chance to feel included (always did this)

It is up to him to live his life now, on his own. I refuse to be blamed for his life going wrong. I know a played a part but I am not solely to blame.

One thing I am still struggling with is after I do stand up for myself or not 'fix' things for him, I feel guilty. How do I move past that? I know I have done those things for so long that I feel like I should be doing them but at the same time I know that isn't really helping him, it's enabling him.