Hi Jpeg. I just read this thread and have a rough idea of what your up against. I can't give you advice or opinion about how to manage your husband. I have no experience with that. My wife is in the same house, mentally checked out and there is no OM.
Where my efforts have been focused are on me. I am trying to improve myself so that I am the best version of myself possible. I chose this path after trying to work it out with my wife. The more I tried the more she pulled away. I realized that I can only effect change on myself.
In your case, it seems to me that the most productive use of you time is to focus and work to improve yourself. Next year I will know my wife 30 years, we are also married 26 years and my wife is your age. We are contemporaries. I understand where you are and what's at stake. I think about the same things every day. The path that has helped me the most is to reduce my attachment to/on my wife. It is working and making a difference. The change has not been fast but somewhat steady.
Start with attachment issues Jpeg. Be strong, be well
