Ok guys, I will continue to validate and let her come to me. She just dropped off s4. Came in and told me about what she had to get done at work. I listened and told her good luck.
I'm not great at validating, but I am working on it.
W hasn't brought up Christmas any more. I think that is a good sign too. She hadn't mentioned D, or anything related to it. When we did the S agreement with her L, he told me that this should be final the first of December. I haven't heard back anything since that day. That was mid September. So she definately isn't pushing it anymore. Lots of good signs.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
W hasn't brought up Christmas any more. I think that is a good sign too. She hadn't mentioned D, or anything related to it. When we did the S agreement with her L, he told me that this should be final the first of December. I haven't heard back anything since that day. That was mid September. So she definately isn't pushing it anymore. Lots of good signs.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but a lack of communication about a topic isn't necessarily a good sign. It all depends on the intent - it's very different if your W isn't mentioning the D because she's questioning her actions then not mentioning it because there is nothing to add to the conversation (meaning she feels the same way she always did).
You are right scidad, but there are many things that need decided yet, splitting of assets, etc. There is no way we could get everything in order in a couple weeks.
Sandi, thanksgiving is on my scheduled day, but I agreed to let her take the boys to dinner at her family thing. I have lunch, and get them back after dinner. Christmas, my family does it on Christmas eve, hers Christmas afternoon. We are going to share Christmas morning somehow. Unless my hope comes true, then it's all a moot point
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Well, I asked W if she wanted to go eat with the boys and me ad a kinda late bday lunch. She said no, and then told me that the lawyer had drawn up the divorce papers and she will give them to me tomorrow.
Said she had heard lots of rumors. I told her that I had too. I told her that I felt we were doing better together, and she said that she wants to be friends. I told her that I do not think that is going to happen. I don't want to be friends. Really, I don't hate her... but I don't want to see her either now.
So, I guess you all were right. Don't believe anything. Even when they are acting nice, they are still plotting. I miss her, but she isn't the girl I married.
She accused me of putting the boys up to things. I never did. They don't like what we are going through, and tried everything they could to fix it. So I sat the boys down and talked to them, and they all cried. I teared up a bit too, but was strong enough to not cry.
Time to move on.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Thanks az. An hour after she left, she called. S4 was playing my phone and declined the call. I tried to call her back 15 minutes later, and she didn't answer. She called back and said that she took S8 jacket with her, and asked if I wanted it dropped off.
The last few months, that would have been done in a text. Why call now?
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Dday, I sorry to hear that news. You must be struggling with this revelation, I would. Your wife must be struggling and this is hard for her too. Maybe that's why she called. To blow up your family is a big deal for most people. I know you know this but I'll say it anyway, it ain't over till it's over. Please keep acting like the strong kind man you are. If your angry go chop some wood, take a run, something like that.
Your best chance is to detach and behave well. Treat her like a friendly neighbor. Other then the kids I would not share anything with her. There are people here that will give you experienced advice. Hang in there dday.
Mutatio, thank you for the kind words. As of right now, I am handling it pretty well. I don't want it, but I know it is not my choice. Apparently I have detached way better than I had thought. I will survive this. I feel as ok with this as I can be.
I feel like now, I can move forward. With her decision being made, I can move forward for my boys and myself and not worry about her reactions. I'm sure looking through the settlement papers will be a whole range of emotions. Our entire past and lives put into a stack of papers.
Oh well, that is the battle of tomorrow.
I will always love the girl I married. Wish I could have found her again.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
