Thank you all for your support, great advice and encouragement.
I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, as I was busy having a life of my own:)
I have been really pulling away from my husband. I have answered some of his calls and texts. I have been loving and cheerful towards him.
I have been focusing on my health, emotional and physical. Working out, counseling (for me, not my marriage) and being a more engaged mom. I feel positive about life and my future.
Just the other day my husband called and I Answered. I had ignored a few calls earlier that day. He mostly asked about the kids and talked shorty with our daughter (4). About 5 minutes after ending our call he sent a text saying that I sounded in good spirits and he was glad... whatever was causing it. I didn't respond. Then he sent another text shortly after saying that he sensed that I was holding back from telling him something but that it was none of his business. I figured he was maybe thinking I was dating someone. I still didn't respond...I wasn't going to respond to hints. So I waited for him to actually ask. And he did. He simply asked if I met someone. I didn't defend myself as I normally would. I wanted to tell him that of course I wasn't seeing anyone and it was his business since we are still married. I felt his suspicion really told how little he knows of me. The thought of being with someone other than him literally makes me feel sick. My response to him was simply "no". Then he changed the subject to something about our bank account.
I have no idea what this means. Expect he's showing interest. He's curious about what I'm up to and why I sound happy. He called the next day twice. I answered the 2nd time. I thought he was calling to set up a time to talk to the kids. But he said he wanted to see what I was up to.
I haven't heard from him since. I have been working really hard on myself and part of me feels relief to be set free from a relationship with a man who doesn't want to be in a relationship. I will never love anyone the way I love him. But now is a time to love myself. In fact I remember before this happened he said "how can I love someone who doesn't love themselves" he's right. I have been suppressing so many emotions and memories for far too long. My therapist will help with that. My husband and I both come from bad childhoods and I feel we both married a broken person. So I will focus on my healing and giving him space and support to find himself.
I have been anticipating being served this past week by a sheriff. But it hasn't happened yet.
