EyeTie, I feel very similar about my W even though I'm still praying for her to figure out who she is and work through her problems. I see some things that show me shd might be on the right path back to finding herself but still alot to do. I also realize I could very well be done like you are in the near future. I feel bad for her also but at the end of the day they choose this path, not us.

Everything else you said about your W I could relate to and it brought up another thought. In a previous post you said how you won't be that bitter H and you have done alot of work to avoid that. I understand how easy it would be for all of us to turn into that person but we strive for a better us instead.

It reminds me of my father and something I learned yesterday. My step mom was a WAW/possibly WW a few years ago and when she moved out to move in with another woman/man for a break my father got bitter and divorced her immediatly. He's still very bitter about women in general and I'm not sure be will have another healthy relationship. My step mom since then has had her life go downhill and my father sees that as she was wrong and he was right. The truth is they both failed not only in the M but also in what happened afterwards. She has lived in a hotel where she works for the last year and nearly moved across the world to live with a man she met over the internet. He dumped her within a week of when she was planning on leaving. It shows she keeps chasing that dream of what will make her happy and isn't finding it. My father could have made changes and turned himself into a new man but basically said "good riddens" to her and learned nothing about himself or how he contributed to that breakdown.

I think it shows those of us that do the work are in a much better place for the future and it's good to hear things are going so well for you after workong on you. It hurts to know they are going down that path where they learn nothing and make things worse but that's their choice. We have our own to make that has nothing to do with what they do.

Together, apart, we all have decisions to make that fail who we could be on the future.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be