I think the controlling accusation is they want to do whatever they want, when they want and anyone who says no is too controlling
Exactly!
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They are, in reality, more free than the LBS who works all day, every day to make things work. My W can quit her job any day she wants, and she has, without feeling a thing since there is still money flowing to the checking account. No consequences from her view. Freedom to do whatever she wants and when I inform her of a limit it's me being too controlling
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Again, this is very true for a lot of couples. Unless the W went to school for a particular career focus, and she just has a "job", I think she does feel free to quit b/c she knows he is basically responsible for supporting the family.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
