Spiff, I wish I was on here in the beginning too. I trusted the advice here when I found this board, because I was already 4 months into it and wasn't getting help anywhere else. My eyes are wide open now in the sense that lets say H and I reconcile, and a few years from now suddenly H's brother or good friend is calling him every day for support with his divorce. I will not naively assume that this will not affect H. Not that I could or would tell H who to talk to, but I would be aware he might need a counterbalance to this, such as setting up double dates with another couple, or going on a trip, or going in for a MC session. Same as if your friends are all into exercising and eating well, you are more likely to get fit. If your friends are gossipy, you are more likely to gossip. I think we absorb more from other people than we realize.
