Pho's thread- things that I have learned

[Dawgs]

Another thing I have learned! That you become like the people you spend time with.

Such a true statement! On so many levels, my W and I are so much alike. Someone brought that to her attention the other day and she didn't say anything. Oh well!

For so many waywards, they were spending time with friends going through a D at the time they "lost it." For me, if I wasn't on here with my DB friends, continually challenging me to do the right thing, the calm thing, the non-reactive thing, I probably would be divorced by now. You all are a good influence! I will make sure that I choose my company wisely in the future. I will pay attention to the company those close to me keep- not in a controlling way (well maybe a bit controlling with my kids) but in an aware way, so that I am not blindsided again. My eyes are wide open now.

I really wish I had listened when I was on here at the beginning. I naively thought (or was maybe scared) that advice from so many on here would hurt things, especially considering my W's past and mental state. One thing I learned about being aware so you won't be blindsided is to not make that a priority - in other words, don't allow those walls to be erected. We live -and love - the best when those walls are down. Believe me, I learned the hard way. As with you, my eyes are wide open to. Hyper aware, you know?