Maybe that's why it's so hard, b/c you have not been able to stabilize in a solid plan of action.
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But DB says to keep her out of your life act like you are moving forward. Have Christmas at home with the kids if W wants to be there it fine , if not that ok to. Then after she can bring them to the my inlaws.
Actually DBing is about doing what works.
You need to decide on what YOU want to do about celebrating the holidays. You need to decide what is fair to the kids. If W goes to her parents that morning, can you really expect the kids to stay home with you? We've talked about this before, and I agree with setting your own family traditions, but be sure you are on a solid foundation before you set them. Know what I mean? If your W does not agree to staying home this Christmas morning, then you have to think of your kids who have gone to their grandparents every year. Having their parents mad at each other on their most anticipated holiday of the year.....is not what kids want Santa to bring them.
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She wants to know if we are getting gifts together for the kids. I thought we said we were. But when I agreed to that I felt like it was the wrong thing to do as she wanted to spend a lot on them$$$
Who controls the bank account? Can't you take a stand and tell her that XX amount will be spent -- and no more? Have you taken your name off (or canceled) her credit cards?
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I didn't think we would be in the same house at this time when BD started. I was hoping we would be so that we could have Christmas together. For the kids and everything to just stop and have Christmas like we are not separated.
Well, if you can't take charge and do what you need to do about the sitch, then go have Christmas! Don't ruin it for the kids. Don't be a jerk and show her you are not going to her parents, out of spite. Now......do you feel better?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
