Raliced and V, Thanks for putting everything into perspective. I read your posts last night exactly at a time when I needed it. The contents of our posts, coupled with the knowledge that my DB sisters have my back was so meaningful and helpful. I hope I am blessed with hindsight so I may pay it forward - and soon. Now that I have the clarity of day and your insights, I am ready to tackle another day at work.
This morning I broke another rule: trying to set an unenforceable boundary. W wants to have elective surgery. She wants the ILs who have been very hostile towards me and are bankrolling her, to come stay in our house. I don't know why she needs to have the surgery now. She claims that our deductible has already been met. I told her that they are hostile and support her extramarital relationship and I really don't want them in my house. the problem is I don't see how I can enforce it. I am amazed at how many mistakes I can make every time I open my mouth - and it happens every time I think with my heart: I told her how sick I am of covering up her indiscretions and I am tired of protecting her. I told her perhaps I should tell the children. I said she should appreciate just how long I have been covering up for her. I would not be surprised if she sees that as a threat - even though I would never say anything that would harm my children. I just cannot have a conversation with her without it turning contentious.
Originally Posted By: raliced
Are these communications going to your lawyer first - or are they sending them directly to you? If they are not doing so already - have them send all correspondence to your lawyer - that will spare you some of this.
Yes, they are going through my lawyer.
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Have you considered L first?
I assume you meant filing first? Yes, I have, but I am not going to file for the following reason. My L said in our state it does not make a difference who filed first. Also, when the time comes and my children inquire, I want them to know that it was my WW who was driving the process the whole time.
Originally Posted By: Sotto
Do you know what kind of separation arrangements are likely to be deemed fair?
I think the courts favor a 50/50 split and 50/50 custody, unless there is reason to consider otherwise.
