She's thinking of leaving again

[Sotto]

Hi Scrant, I'll make one last comment and then stop bugging you...it's always up to you of course and all this is JMHO. Plus, I'm no vet of course.

I don't think the frequency and length of the contact is that much of a factor. I think the central point is being willing to kiss and hug your W in all present circumstances. I don't believe that helps the cause of saving your M. I believe every time you kiss and hug, your W will believe you are 'on the hook' and happily go off and carry on life with OM - assured you will be there as plan B, should things not work out.

I think it is this 'entitlement' you are seeking to undercut - by making her doubt that you will actually be there. What if the next time she moved in for a kiss and a hug, you gave her a brief grandma hug and a peck on the cheek, then pulled away? If she then says - don't you want a kiss? You could reply - Not any more. Not if you're involved with someone else - that doesn't work for me. Strong, brief, pull away and close the door.

I think your own desperation to feel close to your W isn't helping your cause. I hope I don't offend and I'm truly trying to help - but I'll leave it alone now unless you want to discuss further.

Take care my friend