Is there anything like a letter I can write or send to my W as a last resort Letter
She does not want to hear words
My W wnd I chose to get married and we chose to have children we both want to do the best for our children.
I am scared of the long term affects
For 17 years we worked together bringing up the children and she feels I did n do enough I feel I could have done more she feels she has let them down by staying with me a long as she has.
I do not not want to go separate ways
I cannot change the past
I want to work with my W to give the kids the very best future
Actions for my wife not words she needs to see actions
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Sorry ghost, I understand that pain and fear you're going through right now. You know the answers to most those questions already so we can skip it. Read your signature again and push through the urge to contact her. The things you fear won't be as bad as you think, if they happen. But letting those fears control you now will likely just contribute to them happening.
Keep going ghost, keep improving you, keep working on you. Let W live her life while you live yours and let things play out.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
I work days my W works nights my children three of them go to school and the toddler has just started nursery
My W is working way more than she needs to she is away from the house five nights a week
I do the nursery drop off every morning I am arround for my older children at school drop off
My W picks up the toddler she has her during the day I want to do things with me and her during the day but I am working I have to get the balance work and family I inow things are better than they were when I was working all the time.
I have made changed to how I was I have already started to become a better person
My W is not perfect she makes mistakes she is not always a kind to the children as she could have been she is firm mostly fair
I want to show my W what a new marriage would feel like
I still feel that with little effort things could be so much better
Look in the mirror and make the change
Got to change myself
Time to work on me
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Actions, not words. The letter won't do anything but make her see you in a feeble light. Somehow, you have to let go of the fear. That's what's stopping you detaching and moving forward.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
You are not loosing your D17. You don't know for sure she'll choose to live with her mother. Sometimes, girls will fool ya. Even if she does not live in the house with you, YOU HAVE NOT LOST HER! Please stop that negative thought. She is your daughter, and although like most teens, she's focused on her own personal life and future.....she will still see you. She's almost 18, so she'll be moving on to a new life, anyway. She won't stop seeing her family just b/c she makes a life for herself.
Do not fall back into your self defeating thoughts. This is what feeds your fear. You have to help yourself by refusing to give over to these negative thoughts. Do something else to distract yourself. Listen to a self help tape. Read a book. Call a friend. Get out of the house and drive. Come here and post, like you are doing now. Make positive statements of how you are getting stronger and preparing for your new life.
If it will help you, go ahead and write out a long letter to your wife. Do not write it electronically and take a chance of hitting the send button. Write it out, and then tear it up. Some men have said it is therapeutic.
Quote:
For 17 years we worked together bringing up the children and she feels I did n do enough I feel I could have done more she feels she has let them down by staying with me a long as she has.
Stop saying what she says or thinks. It will not change the past.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I have no control I cannot control this I do not get to decide
You are focusing on the wrong stuff here, Ghost.
You have complete and total control over you. You have complete and total control over the things you do, the things you say, and the way you feel. You have complete and total control over your relationships with your children.
