When I look back and see how bad my W treated me, I think she was trying to get me to cheat on her, or want to leave the MR. When she talked about taking a break, she was trying to put words in my mouth that I was unhappy and wanted to end the MR just like her. That we should just do it fast and nice because this is what we both want. That we will still be friends and live close to each other ready to help and be there for each other.
Oh how it has not gone that way she planned. I guess she did not treat me as bad as she thought. That she did not break me. But the time she put into it, the effort to not be close to me, the energy to resent me. If she put all that into just working on her own happiness and communicating with me her true feelings, and if I was open to see the big picture, we would be in a different place right now.
This chimes with my W and her treatment of me. She checks out the MR, detaches from me physically, emotionally, and sexually and eventually after several months I protest. She will ask 'are u unhappy' 'don't you think it's best if we separate' or words to that effect.
Then it's my 'choice' to separate and W absolves herself of guilt. If she put even a small amount of effort into working on MR , it would create a virtuous circle upwards, instead of the spiral downwards.
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
