Do you find it difficult to both be more attentive, affirming, etc with him *and* concentrate on fulfilling your own need to do things for yourself? I find it hard to strike a balance.
I think there is *definitely* something to the spicy sex life, sexy clothing, losing weight thing. My dh and I had lunch this past weekend with a guy we haven't seen in 17 months and Gary (the friend) went on and on about how great I looked -- "younger, sexy, all toned and everything" were his exact words. Though my h has hardly made a comment on the weight I've lost or the exercise I've been doing, I'd guess he has noticed other men's reactions to that and the sexier clothes I've purchased recently (just a hunch).
I have taken pains to spice things up in the bedroom, and my "so shy about sex he won't even buy condoms" h has been very receptive. He even read me a sexy story out of an erotic fiction book last weekend! I had never before heard some of those words spoken by him in any context. So keep up the sexiness!!
