No....I think they are always good to use. But the more laughable the situation, the easier it is. You know, if you are piecing the relationship back together, then you should listen to her questions and complaints. But if shes filed for divorce and is mad you dont kiss her anymore, it becomes easy to fire those darts.
OK I get the idea. She thinks we were trying to work on getting M on track has continued relationship with OM so id say im not peicing however she probably thinks i dont know about here continued excessive talking and meeting up with OM outside work. I guess thats whats confusing me the most.
M30 - W29 - S1.5 EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015 Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015 W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015 W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
Had couple questions earlier with regards to sandi's rules didnt realy see them covered in there and didnt see any responce yet so i thought id bring it up again
I am in the habbit of calling my W love or dear or hun and other terms of endearment. Do those go out the window with saying i love you?
Also, when W comes to me asking how she looks or is digging for a compliment. What is the best corse of action?
M30 - W29 - S1.5 EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015 Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015 W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015 W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
I am in the habbit of calling my W love or dear or hun and other terms of endearment. Do those go out the window with saying i love you?
What do you think?
Originally Posted By: StrongJ
Also, when W comes to me asking how she looks or is digging for a compliment. What is the best corse of action?
Treat her like you would if she were a boarder in your house. Dont be rude. Dont be overly gushy. "You look nice" is fine. "I love the way the blue in your dress brings out your eyes" is probably a little much.
I am in the habbit of calling my W love or dear or hun and other terms of endearment. Do those go out the window with saying i love you?
What do you think?
Originally Posted By: StrongJ
Also, when W comes to me asking how she looks or is digging for a compliment. What is the best corse of action?
Treat her like you would if she were a boarder in your house. Dont be rude. Dont be overly gushy. "You look nice" is fine. "I love the way the blue in your dress brings out your eyes" is probably a little much.
I think no to terms of endearment think. Gota break the habbit start calling her my name.
And i suppose that makes senve for compliments not trying to win her back though flattery. Need to get that lil thing called respect.
M30 - W29 - S1.5 EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015 Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015 W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015 W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
When I discovered the EA on 10/30/15, I stopped any terms of endearment.
She is called by her first name. I haven't said I love you in 3 weeks. I HAVE told her she looked nice in the morning, or that she picked out a nice shoe for work.
How would a FRIEND speak to her?
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
I don't know what you're confused about. Your W is still in A with OM, never stopped. She just gave you enough to get you off her back about it. So why on earth would you say ILY or any other term of endearment? That's just her keeping you in her control for continued cake-eating. You can stand up for yourself or not, it's all up to you what you're really willing to live with.
Me:49 W:45 M:19 T:22 EA confirmed and ended 8/2014 S:19,17 D:9,5
"Your W is still in A with OM, never stopped. She just gave you enough to get you off her back about it."
I receive comments like this from others. It is difficult to accept but very very true. It is why I say the fog goes both ways.
The LBS can become so jaded that any little crumb tossed their way looks like a giant slice of the best cake in the world. The reality is it is WWs cake and only they are eating.
2point0, I was in that fog too. Getting a crumb and latching onto it. Although my W ended contact immediately, I know this as fact, she would never tell me the truth about the A. I found out the truth, or at least as much as I can get, from others. She would even lie in the face of irrefutable proof. But I would get the "there is nothing else..." with the "I love you" and I would feel better until the next infusion of truth. Over and over I went through this cycle until I just had enough. I said "It's me or the lies, you can't have both" and booted her out of the bedroom. It took a few days but she gave up and came clean. Whether it's lies or still being in the A, until you take a stand, a REAL stand, nothing will change. She will want you to say ILY and such just to make you think she is done with the A.
Me:49 W:45 M:19 T:22 EA confirmed and ended 8/2014 S:19,17 D:9,5
