Adventures of PP, Woofie, and the WAW (9)

[PigPen]

One more thing... I tried to remember the last time I made my H feel like I wanted to tear off his shirt and run my nails down his back...

I am guessing this would be the equivalent to me dreaming about getting some flowers from H??

What an eye opener for me. I can give all the reasons in the world why it is not my fault I did not make him feel this way, but the fact is, I did not make him feel this way.

Give us more PP! What else did I not make him feel??

Thanks for posting here Mona, your posts always bring a smile to my face. I'm not a woman so I have no idea if the necklace was planned or not. I do know I'm not supposed to listen to anything my W says, but that's hard as it seems to be matching her actions. She may have switched impetus's a few times, but has never wavered from walking towards D.

The nails and flowers thing...I used to buy my W flowers all the time, such a simple gesture. Kindness like that shouldn't need to be planned IMO. As for the nails, well, there has to be desire, and from what I learned last week, polarity. Opposition almost. If not, it has to be designed in the bedroom, but I think it obviously helps if both parties are willing.

God bless my W, she was also experimental and creative in a role playing etc. That wasn't what I thought was lacking. It was the effect of it all. It's one thing to get turned on because there's a room full of gimmicks. It's another to catch a passing glance and subsequently feel like the room is going to explode. Sure that doesn't happen on a daily basis forever, but I'm not sure for her it ever happened because of anything I did - planned or otherwise.

A good part of that was my fault though, when we got together I was coming off a very unhealthy sex life. I've talked to other men this year in similar positions, when you're that scared of intimacy, it makes the physical intimacy nearly impossible. One man I spoke with at length said, "I've been with my girlfriend for 9 years now and we're having some problems. Sure I cheat on her a lot, but it's only because I can only have sex with someone that I don't like." Woah!

I wasn't quite that bad when I started dating my W prior to us getting M'd, but I was close. So a lot of this is on me. Intimacy was terrifying for a lot of reasons, one key one being that I didn't understand what it meant. She was asking me to speak Chinese, which was both scary as hell, and something I didn't know how to do.

That's probably a long way of saying, "Everyone needs to get their needs met Mona." You need flowers, more importantly you need what the flowers represent - recognition, appreciation, and a dash of spontaneous love. Who knows if your H needs nails run down his back. I know I do. At least every once in a while.

PP