my anxiety is so high right now and I see no way out except to leave him. How can I be with someone who thinks I am a liar? How can this possibly work?
I understand what you are saying. I couldn't do it, either. Maybe digging deeper will find a reason for this behavior. Maybe it is part of his issues and really isn't directed at you. Perception plays a much bigger role than we think, I am living proof.
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I am being set up by the IL's and H is buying every word of it. I am the scapegoat for everything.
That is very unfortunate. Is it more than just the MIL who is doing this? Until your H realizes this, you may be literally just banging your head on the wall. I know the feeling. Look at my relationship with my SIL - remember how the two went through that hell of a childhood together and their bond is inseparable. Also, the SIL is very, very manipulative towards my W and knows how to push her buttons. That's one of main things caused the W to even consider divorce (keep in mind that the SIL is also going through a divorce and IS telling the W that the grass is greener).
I just don't know how to navigate the family bond without it seeming like you are attacking the MIL (even though she deserves it). If someone can tell me how to do that, I would greatly appreciate it! Maybe there isn't you can do about that but what you are doing for your H? Maybe you need to validate (as you said, without agreeing or the like)? Just throwing ideas out there.
But, I agree, family takes sides and make us the scapegoat even when they think they are doing what's best for our spouses.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
