I cannot and will not just sweep this under the carpet and forget it never happened. I just feel too 'damaged' at the moment.
Oooft. Quite a turnaround mate. THIS^^ is a new Huddy. Well done.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
I feel the same. If R happens in my sitch then it will not just be the flick of a switch like last time. And a list of things for ME to improve like last time
I would want us to talk more openly about our needs and feelings than at any time in our MR and probably get IC/MC and just date for a while.
Even continuing in separate bedrooms while dating - all pie in the sky at the mo
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
Quite a turnaround. Remember when we were discussing this on the forum in the summer? I resembled a mess of huge proportions. It was some of your actions, and words when we met, that made me realise that the hurt wouldn't go away if I 'forgave and forgot'. It needs a root and branch reappraisal of our R.
Hope the house move is going OK. Think another meet up might be due after!
IS
Fighting spirit - I like it!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Hope the house move is going OK. Think another meet up might be due after!
The move is going as OK as it can. Usual limbo with the missives etc but it'll work out.
Another pint would be good. I fancy a trip to the east this time ;-)
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Keep to your path. You are doing well. Don't be tempted to help or fix the situation your W is facing. You do care but because you care you need to let her face it without you. I think you know this but no harm reminding, as your emotions are likely to be high. You are relatively detached but having to leave your home and all that entails will weigh on you. This is not the end but a new beginning.
One thing I am curious about. What exactly does your W intend to review in six months? It's funny and not funny how her mind is working....
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
I believe my W is going to review our relationship in six months and decide if we should get back together or not. Basically, W wants to control my life for six months after we part. Well, that's not going to happen. What happens if she decides to do another review six months after that? It'll never end, so it won't be happening.
At this moment in time, I am more worried about the effects on my children than about myself, right now. That is my focus - kids then me, nothing else right now.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I believe my W is going to review our relationship in six months and decide if we should get back together or not.
If this wasn't so sad it would be funny. So she snaps her fingers in 6 months and everything goes back to normal? Oh dear, she really didn't think this through did she? Surely by now she must realise you're no push over anymore?
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
I'm glad you're feeling strong and empowered! Your W sounds like things are not going the way she thought and she's now trying to blame you for the mess she created.
When H had his A, he had a plan that I was just going to move far away with only my personal belongings, and he would take on all our debts but also keep every asset. I would just have to start over (I'm 50+ and moved to this country to marry him, gave up my career and took care of stepchildren and ageing in-laws).
When he realized that I went to see a L and got a very different version of the future (fortunately, we live in a state that still thinks breaking your M vows should have consequences), he acted as if I was SO selfish! That HE would have to move out, how was he going to do that, couldn't afford it, he would be ruined! Reality check hit him right between the eyes...
I just told him, that's the way it works.
Are you getting a place for you and the kids? Why does she think she's taking them?
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Yeah, will she unsell the house too in six months!!!!
Look after the kids and the rest will look after itself. Good luck mate but I am sure you will be fine.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
