The reason you had to read and reread that post numerous times is because it's gobble goop dressed up in pretty language. It really doesn't say much but it sounds like it does.
I've always felt a kinship with you and I, too, would be hard pressed to write myself a love letter. I'd appreciate the effort someone was trying to put forth into my emotional health but I was never one that would have 12 stepped my divorce process.
No offense, that stuff might be great for a women or arts and crafts Tony Romo....but I'd much rather go kayaking.
Sorry about finding out about OM. I never wanted to be right last winter when I was fighting hard to get my posts through to you encouraging you to snoop and get the facts about your life (NOT continual snoop forever which is against DB). I just strongly feel that it's a band aid that needed/needs to be ripped off eventually and the sooner the better (see how much clarity the truth is giving you now???). She had ALL the classic signs and even her email admonishing you was consistent with being a wayward wife. You perfectly blindsided her and essentially got her to admit something she NEVER wants anyone to know about her new Mr. Perfect (especially your children one day). Her best defense is a good offense so she contextualizes a mock defense whereby she can say she admitted nothing and you harassed her. She'll project the banner of liar upon you. This is problem number 2 with not getting the truth a year ago. She can continue to lie about your life to the children and expose your children on a daily basis to her co-conspirator in the destruction of their family. If you try to ever tell the kids the truth (and I certainly think you should)...she will deny it because she can (just because she can deny it doesn't mean you shouldn't tell it....the truth is what it is and your children will come to realize which parent will and which parent won't speak the truth to them - never lie to your kids to protect her).
Who is he....a "friend" from work? What makes you suspect it occurred prior to the divorce? If they knew each other and spent any time together THAT is your confirmation. Further, if she was truly not wayward prior to the divorce she'd do everything in her power to assure you that it wasn't so and give you an alternative explanation. You are the father of her children. If the truth was she didn't cheat...I'd expect a lot more sympathy. Instead....she sends a scathing accusatory email to you trying to characterize your conversation with her as abusive. Liars lie. She's just covering her basis (and protecting her OM). Personally, I'd casually go public with your knowledge....act like it's a well known fact and has been for a year (you just kept quiet about it because you hoped to reconcile - but not now - so protecting her secret isn't your priority).
Good luck with the business.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
