My turn... Part 3

[Cole_]

Wife is out at a business dinner with OM and a business rep tonight. From what she said a few nights ago, it sounds like she has doubts the OM can step up and that means she may turn down the opportunity. It would be too risky for her to consider when living alone with no secondary income to back her up and buy her time to find a new job if things went south. It's sad really. She left me for a man she can't count on when she needs him and this is something of a dream job for her. I know she would pursue it if we were still together and on good terms. That, in a way breaks my heart to see her seemingly unable to chase her dreams because of our situation and decisions she made. What's funny is she made a comment about how I should trust that she'll make the decision that's best for the kids because since our kids were born, she always placed them above everything and they've always guided her decisions. I bit my tongue and didn't ask her if she thought of the kids when she chose to defile our marriage and maintain an EA with OM.

I hate that she's at dinner with the OM. Im sure most of it is business related, but it's hard not to think of the night she went to the first business dinner and ended up going out with him for at least an hour after doing god knows what. You can imagine the thoughts running through my head tonight. I can only assume she'll spend an hour or two with him alone after the dinner is over.

Still, I'm hanging out its the kids and that makes it easier. Trying to focus on what's important and what I can actually influence.