I second Job on you being an inspiration Sotto ...
if I may offer a thought? I too have the thoughts about what's going to happen if he comes back, will it be too late like some of my friends predict? will they give me grief if I opt back in? will I always wonder if the other shoe is going to drop?
What I've come to decide for me is that I don't need to worry about not having an answer to the questions because we aren't there yet, so when I start going there in my head, I try to pull back to now and focus on the now. What can I do now to make me happy or at least make it easier to breathe ...

I hope that helps?

Congrats on the outstanding work news xoxoxo

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver