I feel better, I saw my IC yesterday. She reminded me that he HAS to pay. Not that I want to go down that road, but maybe I could remind him how much more expensive court will be, haha.
I'm trying hard to come up with ways to make some money. Also focusing on figuring out what I would actually LIKE to do with my life. Mona, I have so much respect for how far you have come since your H left you ten years ago. I can't imagine going back to school and working with even 1 kid and you did it with 3. How did you realize you wanted to do what you do?
Sadly, this kind of narcissistic behavior isn't completely abnormal for my H, it's just very exaggerated at the moment. I guess he's starting to realize that things aren't necessarily gonna turn out the way he envisioned them. Poor baby!
Gmum, I have just caught up on your latest posts. You express fear for the future but what I read is a woman who is strong, determine to do what is best her and her daughter. You have already analyse what the problem might be, that is very good. No focus on what could be all the solution available to you.
You are strong and I'm proud of how far you have come :-)
I worked completely backwards to land where I am. I did not think about what I wanted to do with my life. To be perfectly honest, I was completely desperate. I remember having to beg for a box of mac and cheese from my boss at the part time clerical job I had one night because I literally had nothing for dinner for the kids.
If someone were to ask me "Hey Mona, what do you want to do with your life?" It would have been as foreign of a question as if they asked in French or German.
So I went to the job outlook site the US gov't has and I decided I wanted to earn 6 figures. I did not care how long it took, I wanted to end up bringing home 6 figures. I looked at jobs that paid that much and after 2 weeks of changing my mind, I decided on IT.
But the one thing that completely sealed my path was the school I called waived the $65.00 application fee. I was able to start school for what I considered was FREE. I say free because the financial aid office found the grants and loans I needed to pay for school.
WARNING** It can be a trap. I was strapped for cash, and I was able to get financial aid. I qualified for enough that not only did it pay for my classes, but I qualified for extra which they sent to me. So when I was more broke then ever, I get a check in the mail for $6,000.00.
This was a school loan. YOU HAVE TO PAY THEM BACK! I am warning you because it is so easy to wrack up more debt that you can pay back, and you cant get rid of a student load with a bankruptcy. This type of loan they will garnish your wages until they get their money back.
I'm cool with the loans. I make enough now that I can pay them back.
But that is how I decided. I based it completely on how much income I wanted.
This may not work for you. If you don't choose a path that you LOVE, you may not finish school. And, if school is not right for you... you wont finish school. Make sure what you choose is something that will make you happy!
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Thank you, Rouky. I don't feel so strong these days. Just tired, hopeless and worn out.
Thank you, Mona, for your thorough explanation. I really would like to do something that I love, but can't figure out how to get facials for a living ;-) hehe
Thank you, Mona, for your thorough explanation. I really would like to do something that I love, but can't figure out how to get facials for a living ;-) hehe
HA! If you do LET ME KNOW!
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
It was amazing to get out of the city and see my friends, but my D spent 98% of the time acting out. She was super jealous of my friends baby, she was clingy and needy and would throw huge fits. Not saying it was all her fault, but made for a less relaxing time. Still, I'm glad we went.
She didn't FaceTime much with her dad. I asked her every day several times, but usually she declined. One day I told her to call him and then afterwards she could watch a cartoon. She called him, but he didn't pick up, so I gave her the iPad. Soon after I got a text from him saying he was on a conference call and would call her in a little while. Well, when he did she wasn't having it. I urged her to talk to him, but no dice. H said it was fine. Later I get a text saying it is hard supporting me financially while being away from and not being able to see D. WTF!?! Not sure what that has to do with money.
It freaks me out when he says stuff like that. I take it as an indirect threat, that I'm not even sure he knows he's making. He lashes out at me when he is stressed out. I went to IC yesterday and the therapist immediately recognized the behavior from him. The problem is I can "ignore" the behavior from him, but I can't put a stop to the thoughts they start in my head.
Any tips on being mindful and living in the moment? I try, but my mind CONSTANTLY wanders off. Also, any good resources on visualizing the future you want? Any positive experiences with that, I'd love to hear.
