Hi Strong. I don't think 'allowing some time' will help her 'snap out.' I think consequences do that, but that all takes time. What consequences may there be? No longer ML, not sharing the marital bed, separating, financial, impact on kids, perception of others. If you do nothing other than wait and hope she 'snaps out' none of these consequences unfold. I'm not saying be mean or punish her. I'm saying you may want to take protective steps in the face of this threat to your marriage, peace of mind and wellbeing.

For me, I took the protective measure of separating straightaway, but remained willing to discuss things and potentially focus on the M together for a few months. This was all pre-DB. Once I started DBing, I stopped initiating contact and there's been very little contact since. So your actions will have consequences (for you and her) as mine have. You have to be prepared to 'live' whatever path you take.

I'm happy with my path, because I could never have lived with H knowing he was so infatuated (and sleeping with) someone else. I respect that others may respond differently but it was a no-brainer for me. I knew instantly.

Last edited by Sotto; 11/18/15 10:10 PM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus