Sandi, I'll reply more when I get home tonight but here's some ofyour answers:
She has given me FULL disclosure, she ended it right after the PA happened (out of guilt, she felt ashamed she said). She hasn't talked to him since he reached out to her in May and it was a short conversation from what I saw. She said she was ashamed that it happened, because I'm such a great father, husband etc.(Obviously not good enough) We have transparency, she went to a jewelry party stuff like that. I know her schedule too..
Now as far as PA goes, I told her before 1 and done.. but I love her, I' m in love with her. I personally believe she loves that I'm always there for her and supportive etc, I'm a safety blanket. THERE ARE BIGGER issues, she won't address with me. We are in MC and i'm not sure I have hope for us.
Now I have done as the 37 points said, I've not chased her, texted her, hugged her or initiated anything.. I will not! She start the conversation etc. I will not smother her. I am not chasing after her, she has to win me back. I'm trying to follow those steps. At the same time I'm more concentrated on me. She never did so now it's time for me. I'm not going to make sure she's happy and comfortable, I'm not going to worry about her simply because she didn't worry about me. I'm in a zone where I'm feeling good because I know I did MORE than my part!
She has unfortunately not done anything, and I believe because she's emotionally unable too. Just like she hasn't kissed me romantically in 10 years, she stopped.. this is some of the issues that were red flags before. I would pursue her nothing.. It's sad really. I think she thinks its just going to go away, but it's not.. she needs to know that she needs to win ME back. Not to be arrogant, but I'm a good man by plan! I follow a path, I selflessly for all try to do good.
She doesn't say sorry or anything. When the counselor and I brought up the EA she said nothing.. I will do this with good intentions for a bit, but I WILL NOT WASTE MY LIFE FOR HER! As they say "dont take a good man for gratned... because someday somebody else will come by and appreciate what you didnt'.." sadly, I'm afraid this is going to happen out of her stubbornness and reluctance to help herself and us. I am not going to just brush this under the carpet, i have too much at stake! I'm not getting younger and frankly i deserve to be loved as I love with an open heart and soul... I know it's a pipe dream but maybe I'll find someone one day that truly loves me.
