V, yes! He is projecting. Except maybe the jealousy thing, I don't think he is jealous at all, but everything else he is projecting.
I did not hurt his mother, he did. In fact, up until BD I spent more time with both of his parents than he did. Now I have backed away.
He was crazy worked up about the "fact" that I alienated him from his friends, that was going on 10 months now. Has he reconnected with ANY of his friends in the meantime? No. In fact I have spent more time with one of his best friends than he has. Same thing with his brother, he was so into "I lost touch with my brother, you alienated my from my brother." Well, for about 2 months after BD he was much closer to his brother but I don't think they've seen each other or spoken since, at least not any more than they had prior to BD.
If he was suddenly truly hit with the need to reconnect with his friends and brother, and suddenly realized that I had been the one to alienate him, wouldn't he have reconnected with them? If this was truly what he wanted? He did not, he just raged about it and never "fixed" it. I most certainly did not stand in his way before, but absolutely cleared the path for him to reconnect after that and he didn't do a thing.
The things that resonate with some genuineness- I complained about his parents, I did not validate him, I reacted emotionally, we did not have a unified approach to handling D's problems. Those are all genuine issues. All have been improved greatly and still working on, I might add. By me!
