It's been a while since I have been on this community and I wanted to drop a note of encouragement for everyone fighting for their family, their marriage, or their relationships. My divorce is 3 weeks away from being finalized and while I would be willing to TRY and work on things I have accepted that my WW probably won't be. She lied, cheated, deceived, etc. etc. but in the end you can't control your spouse, you can only control your thoughts and actions. It's not easy, and I know how bad it hurts and how bad you want it to work out. I read messages similar to this one while I was in the thick of it and I didn't want to hear any of that. I wanted to hear it's going to work out. but sometimes it doesn't, and that is OK. I have experienced so much in these past couple of months and it's getting to the point where the positive experiences are overshadowing the negative ones. There are still rough days, but they aren't as frequent as they used to be.
I would be willing to work on things with my WW, but I can't live on that hope or hold out on that hope. I have to live my life and I have to be the best father, son, grandson, brother, and friend that I can be.
The moment you stop letting your spouse dictate your emotions, your thoughts, and your actions you will start to power through this storm of your life. I can't emphasize enough that it isn't easy, and im by no means fully recovered and skipping through life. You control your happiness, not your spouse.
I HIGHLY recommend following the steps on this website, reading the divorce busting book and applying those principles. I think I am at peace with where I am at because I know I did ABSOLUTELY everything I could. There is nothing else I could have done. My WW chose to leave and she chose to give up on our marriage. I can't control that, but I have accepted it and I have decided to learn and grow and when the next woman walks into my life I know I will be a better man than I was before.
I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way to anyone. I am simply trying to encourage everyone that is going through what I went through. It hasn't been easy, but it's a process. Do what you can and learn as you go. My last thought; ask yourself what kind of man or woman you want to be and move in that direction. I had a hard time with that question at the beginning, but I constantly thought about it and I have started making strides in the directions I want to go.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. this has been the hardest experience of my life but I'm here to tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you might not see it but I promise it's there.
Me: 32 Her: 29 M: 5 T: 11 D2 ILYBINILWY: Jan 15 BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me) W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15 Papers served 6-3-15 Temporary Order 7-15-15 W Moved out 7-17-15
