I am working my way through the responses here, not ignoring anyone, but its taking me a while to process and also I had no sleep last night.
I had a dream last night.
I was at the top of a tall building with H and his friend, a friend who we haven't seen in a while, years actually, we were walking down the stairs to leave the building. But there was broken glass everywhere and I stopped to pick up the pieces, H told me to leave them but I said, no the kids will step on them. H and his friend went down the stairs ahead of me, as I picked up the glass. So then I start down the stairs, but they had left big suitcases and duffel bags on the stairs, so it was slow going, I had to squeeze past the luggage, move it out of my way, and in some cases jump over it to get past. All the while I could hear their voices below me in the stairwell.
Finally got to a landing and H's friend gave me a statue of a light house. Said "H wanted you to have this gift." I was so happy, reached out to touch it, and a stream of strawberry milkshake shot out of it into my face. H and his friend started laughing, and continued running down the stairs, while I sat there with goopy, disgusting strawberry milkshake dripping down my face.
I woke up with chest pains and couldn't fall back asleep.
Its crazy how symbolic dreams can be. I need a nap. And tonight I am taking an anxiety pill before bed, haven't taken one of those in over a week. I am having a hard time lately, I feel like I am getting a clearer perspective, a stronger resolve, but at the same time I feel like me, personally, am getting more emotional.
