You should try a DB coach IMHO. Look, only you know what the dynamic was like before. I don't know what you did or didn't do. I know that in my home I didn't do much. I made sure it got done, but I didn't do it. One of the changes I made was doing it myself. When my w asks me to do something now, I try to do it. I think it's a good sign for us. I don't know what it means but I think it's good. Anyway, the last resort thing is really just a strict 180 little room for error. So, if before you used to do it but be pissed off about it, then you could not do it say nothing, tell her why you are not doing it and not do it, or do it but be happy. Then experiment and see what works. I know we speak of loss to a WW but that comes in many many forms. Here's a scenario-
Joe's wife used to yell at Joe to do things like Joe was a child. Joe would do them then be upset and moody. Joe's w then told everyone how Joe can't even do stuff around the house without complaining.
One day, Joe's wife starts yelling at Joe. Joe says, I feel very disrespected when spoken to that way. I agree these things need to be done, but if I'm asked that way, I will not help with this. If you'd like my help though, please speak to me respectfully and I will try to help if I am able to. Here Joe's w LOST her ability to disrespect Joe to his face and one of her complaints against him.
Again, this is just an example-there are probably dozens of ways Joe could've responded back that were entirely different than before. Try to think about what you did before, then try to do something different. Test it out, see how it works.
