I'm going to say something that may be unpopular-I think everyone needs to read and re read the books (DR and DB). The spouses reaction is very important to evaluate while implementing changes. Granted, an initial "negative" reaction (anger, silent treatment etc) may actually be a good thing (like in the case of a WW going through withdrawal) it is something that needs to be evaluated and changed if needed. Detachment comes from not allowing the S to affect our feeling, at least not visibly not from disregarding their reactions to our changes.
Even if a change of direction is called for though, I don't believe it can ever come from a position of weakness. This is not from DB or DR but from personal and professional experience. It cannot be begging for a second chance, but from a person merely deciding to shift direction. No excuses needed.
